Wedding Dress Codes - Decoded

While planning your wedding, it is important to remember that not every photo is going to be a staged and posed photo of yourself and your new spouse and your wedding party. Have you taken into account what aesthetic you are wanting to see when you receive your photo gallery? Your guests are a large moving piece in your wedding, and what they wear reflects the overall vibe of the day. 

As a guest, attending a wedding can be stressful. They were not privy to all the conversations you had with your partner as to how formal your day should be, and if a dress code is not included in the invitation, they may struggle with guessing how to fit in with your other guests. There is no wrong answer - just make sure you communicate this on your invitation, details cards, or wedding website so your guests have proper expectations.

White Tie Attire - Picture This: You have been invited to meet the queen at a gala, or the president at a statehouse dinner. What do you wear? This is the most formal wedding attire there is, though it is not the most common due to it not being accessible to the majority of our guests. Formal floor length evening gowns paired with jewelry, a minimal clutch and heels are expected. Tuxedos should be worn with tails, and formal footwear or oxfords, a white dress shirt and white or gray vest. 

Black-tie - This dress code is the second most formal option there is, and it will always be indicated on the invite or details card, so there shouldn’t be any confusion. Floor length gowns are still standard, but there is a little wiggle room here for a very elegant cocktail dress or dressy pantsuit. A tuxedo is still expected, with black bowtie, black vest or cummerbund and patent leather shoes. For a summer wedding, you could also get away with a white dinner jacket and black tuxedo pants. 

Black-tie Optional or Formal Attire - Your choices are mostly still the same as black-tie, but it opens up some more casual options. This title indicates that something slightly more casual than black tie is going to work just as well! Suits should be a dark color, with a white shirt, and a conservative tie. Tuxedos are still appropriate but suits are welcomed as well. Long dresses, short dresses, pantsuits, all are acceptable. It’s more acceptable to wear dresses that show ankle. 

Cocktail Attire - This dress code is a bit above Semi-formal, and one of the more common dress codes for weddings. It is a good place between formal and casual and fairly accessible to your guests. Opt for a tea-length, knee-length, or midi dress. A suit is required but something solid colored and not too flashy so as to not overpower the wedding party. 

Semi-formal or Dressy Attire - Semi-formal allows a little more wiggle room for comfort, but be mindful of how truly formal this event still is. This dress code is a little more subjective to the time of the event. Evening weddings require a darker and more muted color palette. During the day, lighter tones and colors and fabrics are more acceptable. Dresses that fall below the knee, a dressy skirt and top or a nice pantsuit. Take location of ceremony into account - if known - to decide shoes. Wedges or flats will better navigate rocky terraces, hills, vineyards, gravel, fields, etc. Dress shirts, slacks - color subject to time of day - with or without a tie. 

 Festive Attire - Guests are given the opportunity to be playful with their look. This is a very new attire as weddings take on a non-traditional style. Picture this: Cocktail attire plus bold accessories. Fun colors, playful jewelry and hair pieces, loud patterns, chunky heels or boots. Suits are acceptable, or a heavily patterned dress shirt with clashing tie.  

Casual Attire - This is likely an outdoor, ranch, or barn style wedding meaning a little more laid-back or rustic feel. Unless otherwise mentioned, jeans, shorts, sleeveless tops and t-shirts are not acceptable, nor are track shoes or flip flops. Dress pants and khakis with a polo, button up or other collared shirt. Sundresses are more than acceptable with wedges or dressy sandals. 

Tropical or Destination Attire - Dress accordingly for tropical weddings as they are going to be hot, and likely be humid. It is better to be a bit overdressed than underdressed. Cotton sundress, sandals or wedges work best, you may be able to get away with a nice sunhat. Generally speaking, Guayabera shirts are more than appropriate. Be aware that linen wrinkles very easily and you never know if you will have the resources to have them pressed when you arrive at your destination. 

Themed Attire - Again with the trend of non-traditional weddings on the upswing, more nearlyweds are opting for a themed event. Chelsea - founder of Divorced From Tradition - and her partner had a wedding on Halloween 2019. Guests were encouraged to wear Semi-formal attire, and then change into costumes after the ceremony. This could look like a 20’s theme, Hollywood glam, etc. Another popular choice is the all-one-color that clients use to get their desired aesthetic, commonly used to encourage guests to wear all white. Picture Bella’s Nightmare Wedding Scene in Breaking Dawn Part 1. 

Remember these important tips for MOST weddings:

• Do not wear white (unless otherwise advised). Just don’t, it is super easy. IF you go “is this too white?” it probably is. Change, just in case.

• Don’t wear the same colors as the wedding party if you can avoid it.

• You are hot, we all know it. But let’s avoid upstaging the hotties getting hitched with anything beyond revealing or incredibly bold that may distract from wedding party and nearlyweds.

• Don’t go too casual. Avoid sneakers and jeans even at a casual wedding.

• Just ask - many wedding websites will have a FAQ section or a person to contact!

What if there is no dress code on the invitation?

Don’t panic, friends! Use some context clues! Look up the venue - is it a barn, a vinyard, or the fanciest ballroom in town? Did you invitation arrive with several other pieces of paper and envelopes and closed with a wax seal or was it a simple, single card invitation? Do you know if the nearlyweds are having a religious ceremony? When in doubt, a cocktail dress that falls below the knee or dress pants and a button up with tie are always appropriate - think, Semi-formal/dressy attire.